Blinded by the Light

I am happy to say that I have made little bits of progress on my road.  Look we all get bogged down from time to time but we gotta pick ourselves up and keep truckin' you know!? I can do this, I can succeed if I want to, besides all things thrown my way.  I'm not struggling with the boulders of life some people are struggling with, and I need to be grateful. 

So today as we end week three I plan to look at my future and really do something about it.  I need to exercise some control over my life.  I'm living in a whirlwind of chaos and that is not so good.  I gotta push myself hard and not feel that I just can't because I'm older, and tired.  I need to really force myself out of my own shell. For those readers who know me well, I realize that you are all thinking, "this bitch right here is trying to say she needs to come out of her shell MORE?! She's crazy!" But its true.

I tend to really crawl up inside myself and put on a happy face for those around me when inside I feel terrible.  NO. MORE.  Its time to actually feel happy.  To actually feel OK with what life throws my way. I've survived worse that's for sure! 

For starters I'll make small progress like organizing my bag.

 A woman's bag can be a disaster and with feeling like I'm already caught up in a chaos spiral having to deal with my suuuuper messy purse is annoying and adds to my frustration.  So getting that set up better will help a lot.  

This weekend after the little Creep's football game I'll be tackling my bedroom.  Just me and Netflix, sorting thru stuff, organizing and making bags of stuff to donate. I will actually go to the Good Will and make a drop of donation stuff this weekend, and I will make sure to keep my receipts for tax time, I'll vacuum and spot check, and clean my house so I feel better and accomplished. 

I'll do laundry and scrub counters, and clean the floor and sweep my walkways and water my lawn just do stuff to really make my Virgo spirit feel happy.  I'll even go for a walk and take the dogs to the park and listen intently to the quiet sounds of the early morning in Diamond bar.  I'll take deep breaths and appreciate that I am in the middle of a beautiful city on a beautiful pre-fall weekend. I'll hug my kids, and tell them how much they mean to me and then do something fun and stupid like make rice crispy treats! I'll pick up my book I've been putting off for months and actually remember the joy of reading it and using my imagination for good and for joy.  I'll rearrange and dust and spray and just enjoy the day that I was given.  Because in the end my darlings its all about how you handle the curve balls which are hurled your way that matters.  

So Church Mice, I am reaching for a pick me up, reaching to feel better and make progress.  This too shall pass and I will wake up one morning soon and realize that it really wasn't that bad.  Not that bad at all. 

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